Key West....General Impressions

A little like Charleston...

A little bit of New Orleans...

A little bit like Seaside...

And a little bit like Holstein (where else would a cop ask YOU to pose for a photo?!)

Wind and (lots of) Wine Cruise

Danger Cruises offers a high-class “Wind and Wine Cruise” past Sunset Key in Key West. I forget how many varietals they offered, because the sommelier had me at “champagne.” He was very knowledgeable (and obviously a great salesman), explaining the vintages prior to departure from the dock, including a pinot grigio (my wine of choice) to boot. A blonde hottie passed around cheese, crackers, and fresh veggies with dip, providing attractive alternate scenery to the aquamarine waters of the Gulf. It was another “pinch myself” moment, as I sipped champagne, took in the ocean breeze and view, felt the yacht gently rocking beneath my feet, and looked around at a group of people I’ve come to respect and whose company I greatly enjoy, but will most likely never cross paths with again. What a strange profession I am in.

It's good luck if they land on you...

Entering Key West’s Butterfly Conservatory (www.keywestbutterfly.com) feels like you’re a character in a cartoon filled with all different sizes and shades of butterflies. It’s a truly surreal experience, and not altogether unfrightening. The dreaded “CRUNCH” on the sidewalk, the swatting of the head (a normal reaction when feeling an insect land) these actions are frowned upon at the butterfly establishment. It’s a great place for children, photographers, and gardeners, who will pick up some tips on plants that attract the cute lil’ buggers.
The gift shop reminded me of Julie Doxtad’s kitchen, which is adorned with framed pinned butterflies that I’ve always guiltily admired. The mandatory sophomore bug collection continues to haunt me, with images of Wade Bagenstos’s bugs crawling off the straightening board with the pins thrust through their thin little wings. But then I encountered the most spectacular moth, and learned that it only lives for three days, because it emerges from its cocoon without a mouth. So essentially, it has three days to exhibit its glory before it succumbs to starvation. It makes me wonder whether or not I would trade places with such an insect, in order to be that amazingly beautiful for three entire days, which seems like a short time to us, but is a lifetime to a moth.

Beachside Key West

I spent the past four days in Key West, as a guest of Beachside Resort & Conference Center (www.beachsidekeywest.com), a new property about three miles from downtown Key West. First of all, they had to kick me out of my suite (quite literally, as I requested a four p.m. check out), which was out of this world. Marble-tiled floors, a full-sized kitchen with stainless steel appliances and a Sub-Zero fridge, two flat screens (one in the bedroom, one in the living room), a Jacuzzi bathtub, and a shower the size of my first apartment. When I walked into the suite, it was all I could do not to scream, jump up and down and then ask my bell boy to pinch me (he WAS rather cute.) But then he reminded me of my VIP status. Me? VIP? And he proceeded to show me my balcony, which had a spiral staircase up to a rooftop ocean view patio. Yeah. It was from this roof each morning that I watched a man and his dog canoe from a teeny tiny island about half a mile off-shore. Apparently the “Key West homeless” have their own islands, similar in size to the two in Storm Lake. Sure beats the Interstate overpasses the Birmingham homeless inhabit!The resort hosted a beachside, luau celebration to welcome the journalists the first night of the trip, with an open (fully stocked) bar, a buffet that included salad toppings such as blue cheese and sliced cucumber, a delicious mahi mahi dish, and a pig. Yuck. My father would have been in heaven. We were serenaded by a local man named Bongo D, who romanced us with music selections ranging from Bob Marley to Gloria Estefan. He did take requests and played “Redemption Song” just for me! The terms and conditions included my singing along. Bob was rolling over in his grave.
My free time at Beachside was spent poolside, where I sipped beers and enjoyed my book. The in-room massage was nice, though rather strange, it being my first out-of-spa massage experience and my first male masseuse. It was hard to relax and enjoy myself without the dimmed lights, warm oil, towels, and soothing music that a spa provides, but a massage is a massage, and I will never complain about receiving one.

For a press trip, my time at the hotel felt amazingly similar to being on vacation, actually, and I returned with many new friends. The Sales and Marketing Team were topnotch entertainers, even going so far as to party on Duval with us one of the nights.

Beachside is perfect for someone like me, who likes to get a true sense and perspective of a place, but likes to be removed from the all-night partying and debauchery. It provides a laid-back home base with easy access to the craziness.

Just like a mullet. Business in the front. Party in the back.