just me.

and

my

shaaaaaaaaaadoooooooows

2 golden sidekicks

my point...do I ever really have one?

Life and love are life and love, a bunch of violets is a bunch of violets, and to drag in the idea of a point is to ruin everything. Live and let live, love and let love, flower and fade, and follow the natural curve, which flows on, pointless. - D.H. Lawrence

The Evolution of my 365 Project

When I first started this project, I thought, "Wow. This will be such an interesting way to reflect on my year." An entire year in photos. One photo per day. Originally, I tried to take photographs that were able to sum up each day. I quickly became bored with this. Because there is a lot of monotony in my life (I'm not complaining), but trying to find something interesting to photograph every single day is TOUGH! Especially when you really want to try to take different sorts of photos. The thing is, I've come to terms with the fact that I'm not going to be a landscape photographer right now. Because I don't have many sweeping landscapes around me (darn these trees!)

Chap is very diligent about inspiring me to branch out, and while I love his ideas, I tend to think on them and think on them, and never execute. Because while I want to take pictures that he's proud of, I see the world in a completely different way than other people, and THAT is what I strive to capture. Photography, to me, is an extention of my perspective, and my perspective is a result of my vision.

I am near-sighted. I've worn glasses since I was 10, and I don't know what my vision was like before that, necessarily. It's not a severe impairment, I can focus perfectly on subjects up to a foot and a half or so away from me without any sort of corrective lenses, and it occurred to me the other day that this is probably why I take the sorts of photos that I take. Because I notice the details.

After the Eyes of Sauron disease (this is how I refer to those few months when I had that creepy eye disease) left my eyes permanently sapped of moisture, I've been wearing glasses almost permanently. They can hinder my view through my camera's viewfinder, so I usually compose a shot, push my glasses up on my head, and shoot. Kind of like shooting blind. I guess this is one of the reasons I like to take detail shots, because I can be sure of the focus! Ha!

My 365 project has pretty much evolved into 365 Days of the Vacant Lot Next Door. Who knew that vacant lot would become so important to me?! Aside from a place to run the crap out of the golden girls, it's my go-to for my 365 photos.

So here you go:









I've been dreading my photos until recently, when I had the revelation that this is MY project, and I'm going to have to find inspiration where I can, so I'll stick to what I love to capture (for now) which is dogs, kiddos, and details, and I'll allow myself to branch out when the mood strikes my fancy.

on friendship, and dreaming

A little over a year ago, I took a chance and talked about a subject that I had previously only discussed with my closest female relatives (mama, sister, aunt). And you all sent me such love and joy that I've never forgotten it. In fact, occasionally I scroll back to that post and read your comments when I'm needing a little pick-me-up. One of the people that took a chance on leaving a comment was Melody. Thus began a friendship that has come to mean the world to me.

All day long, Mel and I keep a running conversation via gchat. We talk about our histories, we share recipes and ideas and websites, we talk about relationships, music, art, travel. We dream of when we can finally meet in person. Her friendship and support have been a life saver to me, especially during a time when I'd just pretty much accepted that it was okay not to have close friends to call on and be absolutely honest with. I mean, I have my sister for that.

Through Mel's support, I'm getting there. I'm putting myself out there. I'm nurturing new friendships. I'm being myself. And she has taught me that it's completely okay to be just that. If there are days when all I want to do is bitch and vent and complain and cry, I know she'll still be my friend. Even if some times I feel like I'm not bringing anything positive or uplifting to the table, she assures me that I am. Yesterday, she shared something with me that, although seemingly small, managed to contain immense meaning and comfort for me: "life is to be felt, not figured out."

Every day I am thankful for so many things: a loving and supportive and motivated husband, a roof over my head, my health and hobbies, a family I love oh so very much, a steady paycheck, pinot grigio: and now I count Melody on that list. It has been a very rare occurrence in my life to have anyone other than Dirk or my family "get" me. To love me because I AM a sensitive soul, who feels, probably too often. That feeling and emoting and sharing these emotions is okay, because everything I feel is personally justifiable. Feeling is not a fault. Sharing is not a fault.

Having people other than husband or family "get" me and love me anyway is always a bit of a revelation. It's like a little secret I keep inside, this friendship, and when something stressful or painful is thrown my way, I pull it out, just enough to receive comfort from it, but not enough to share. Today, for some odd reason, I just felt like sharing. I hope you don't mind.

"The Rainy Day"

"The day is cold, and dark, and dreary
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
The vine still clings to the mouldering wall,
But at every gust the dead leaves fall,
And the day is dark and dreary.

My life is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
My thoughts still cling to the mouldering Past,
But the hopes of youth fall thick in the blast,
And the days are dark and dreary.

Be still, sad heart! and cease repining;
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain must fall,
Some days must be dark and dreary."

-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

We've had some dark and dreary days this week with the unexpected loss of an important friend. Hug somebody you love today. I promise to do the same.

In case you thought I was joking that we refer to our dog as a "Nutcase"

I feel this way sometimes when I catch my reflection in the mirror, too, Piper.

Helplessness Blues

I didn't do a whole lot this weekend except keep my dogs from dying of heat exhaustion. It's been dangerously hot in Alabama. Heat Advisory - Stay in your Air Conditioned House - HOT! Glasses fog up when you step outside hot.

Dirk was away for the entire weekend. Have I mentioned his new job? I think I have, but if not, I will now. Dirk has accepted a managerial position at our friends' restaurants, Cantina. A few are located in Birmingham, and they just opened a new one in Montgomery, which is almost two hours away. He goes down there once a week for two days (usually this falls on a Thursday and Friday night), and once a month he'll work Saturday and Sunday down there. This was his first weekend away, and we (well, I) are still adjusting. Dirk, on the other hand, makes the most of every situation, and I received a picture text at 3:00 a.m. Sunday morning. It was Dirk and Ruben Studdard of American Idol Fame. Apparently they ran into each other at a deli. Did I mention this was at 3 a.m.?! Ha! (I love how Dirk is pointing at the phone here, like Ruben was unaware of where to look to have his picture made?!) I have a dear friends' mother who lives in Montgomery, and we're hopeful that on his weekend away I'll go down on Saturday afternoon to spend some time, something I'm actually really looking forward to.

But in the meantime, with triple-digit heat, there's only so clean a house can get, and only so much laundry a person can do. So I read. And I listen to music. Two new albums in particular, that I fell in love with this past weekend, were Bon Iver's eagerly anticipated (by me, at least) "Bon Iver, Bon Iver," and the Fleet Foxes "Helplessness Blues." I'm the type of person that can hear an album in it's entirety once and maybe enjoy it, but it takes a couple of good beginning-to-end listenings before I am hooked. Here's a preview:

Helplessness Blues (NOT an official video!)


I could not find any Bon Iver homemade videos that I was happy with, so here's a video that includes another artist I've recently discovered, thanks to our Musicology nights, Lykke Li. She's about as cute as a person could be! Here she is with Bon Iver in Los Angeles:


The book that kept me occupied this weekend is Laura Hillenbrand's "Unbroken." An absolutely amazing autobiography recommended by dear old Granddad. You can read the New York Times review of it, here: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/21/books/review/Margolick-t.html

Hope everyone is staying cool this super hot summer. Ugh.