An Actual Blog With No Photographs

Okay, blogosphere. I'm putting it out there. I'm not whining. I'm not having a pity party. I'm not being pessimistic. I'm being realistic. And honest. I get exhausted trying to sugar-coat everything for the world wide web. Don't you want to know what's REALLY going on?! Here goes: I've been down lately.

Call it post-wedding depression. Call it what you will, but throughout life, nothing has been able to send my attitude plummeting like drama with friends. I feel as if this is something I have struggled with my whole life. Friendships. Maybe it's because I'm a middle child and always want everybody to be happy. Maybe I give too much and expect too much in return. All I know is that I am a very sensitive soul. That's just how I am. It's how I always have been.

Tread softly.

I used to beat myself up over it. I would be down for days and weeks when a so-called "friend"'s true colors would show and I would realize they weren't really that good of a friend in the first place.

I know that I am fortunate to have those who appreciate and support and encourage and LOVE me for me. What I'm wondering is, do you out there ever get so discouraged by certain individuals that you just take a little break from them? I've decided to remove myself from the situation for awhile. To see if I stop calling, emailing, texting, contacting others to make plans, who would I hear from? I feel as though if I clean my closet, so to speak, and get rid of all the excess baggage cluttering my head, I'll open it up to other things. Creative things. If I spent less time worrying about whether or not someone's upset with me, or why oh why doesn't this person understand me after all this time, I'd have so much more time to get back to ME. Because honestly, I enjoy my own company. I have fun hanging out with myself. I think thoughts. I make things. I feel like the best version of myself.

I deal with people all day long. Five days a week. It's difficult to carve out social time, let alone alone-time, husband-time, family-time. I am pulled in so many different directions. For one whole year I had a break. Just me and the dogs all day every day. It was lonely at times, but still, it is a time I have grown very nostalgic for.

Now I'm rambling. I guess it's enough to know that you have a hand-full of people you can count on. Who you can call when you're on the verge. Who understand you completely and wholly and accept you, despite your flaws. I have those people and I am thankful. It's the others that bother me. The "acquaintances" who masquerade as friends sometimes.

A wonderful person I met in college, who is not afraid to wax nostalgic or show emotions on her blog, posted this excerpt from a book she's reading. It just touched me on a wonderful level.

"love is what carries you, for it is always there, even in the dark, or most in the dark, but shining out at times like gold stitches in a piece of embroidery.
sometimes too i see that love is a great room with a lot of doors, where we are invited to knock and come in. though it contains all the world, the sun, moon, and stars, it is also so small as to be also in our hearts. it is in the hearts of those who choose to come in. some do not come in. some may stay out forever. some come in together and leave separately. some come in and stay, until they die, and after." - heather coulter, wendell berry

It reminded me that everyone enters your life for a reason. Whether to teach you a lesson or give you an experience to carry with you through life. I'll continue to let them in, and if they don't choose to stay, they fulfilled a purpose of some sort.

Thanks for letting me rant, folks. I feel as if I can write about this now because I've turned a corner as far as my attitude towards it. I am in a really great place right now. I can't wait to find some new friends to share it with.

Here's the Dealio

This post is going to be chock-full of random photos taken over the past few days.

Here's a selection of the earrings I made this past weekend. Having fun hammering again and manipulating wire. The shells are for my new friend Amy in exchange for the twin bed and boxspring she gave me for my guestroom!
I discovered this bottle of wine at a new package store in Southside. I want to buy it for someone, but I'm really afraid they may get offended.
My b!tch likes balls (our friend Bobby came up with the caption for this photo.) Piper is obsessed with balls like no other dog I've ever met (even Ruby.) She can't control herself when there's a ball around. So when she found a second ball she went into a trance after she was able to figure out how to get them both in her mouth at one time.
I made this long pearl and seed bead necklace this past weekend, too. I'm kind of into long necklaces lately, not sure why. They're not too fun to make, but I love the way this one turned out.
I got new glasses! The stupid eye disease left my poor eyeballs dry as a desert, so I have to wear glasses for the next few months 'til they rehydrate. Dirk and Aimee helped me pick out this pair and I really do like them.

Lost and Found

Maybe it's just my eye, or I'm subconsciously always on the lookout for a photo opportunity, but I absolutely LOVE finding random crap lying around and documenting it. Here are a few of my faves.

Holy SMOKES, BATMAN!

Some avid puzzle fan is very upset about this. I took this shot in Virginia, and it made me think about how upsetting it was as a kid to get to the end of a puzzle and find out you were missing a piece. Maybe the puzzle manufacturers do this on purpose and dump the excess pieces around the country for someone like me to find. What an interesting concept, no? Kind of like a treasure hunt to complete a puzzle. I've been watching too much Lost.

I found this in Key West. I like to think it was a swashbuckling pirate hiding a card up his sleeve during an intense game of blackjack. Or something like that. I was really just drawn to it because of the texture and contrast in colors.

Updates

Here are the updates on the house:

We are currently in underwriting. Things have been very frustrating and stressful and difficult and there have been a few times this week where we've been ready to throw the towel in. But we've always woken up the following morning ready to keep fighting. If nothing else, this whole experience has reiterated how wonderful a husband and father Dirk will be. I know now that if something goes wrong I can always count on him to fight and fight and keep on fighting until there's nothing left to fight for. He is one of the strongest willed people I know and I love him for that!

Wedding:

We have cakes! Well, we don't have them right now, obviously, but the cakes have been picked out and taste-tested. So yes, if nothing else, we will have cakes.

We also have bridesmaids dresses! Yes! And Brooke and Kate have already gotten theirs. Is it a little backward that the bridesmaids have dresses before I do? If so, whatever. D-Day (Dress Day, for those who have forgotten) is fast approaching. And I will have not one, but TWO parents flying down that weekend to celebrate with.

Oh, and we have a bachelorette weekend planned! The bridesmaids and Mama and Aunt Jane and hopefully some of my cousins will be staying at my friends' gorgeous home on the bluff in Sewanee, which is also where I went to college. I am oh so excited to have all of these amazing women in one place (sans testosterone) in such a beautiful environment for an entire weekend. And what a treat that Mama and Kate will be able to travel from Iowa to join in. An entire weekend of drinking wine, taking photos around campus in my wedding dress, and eating wickedly delicious food. Yessssss!

So that's what's going on. Forgive the lack of photographs, I have been mentally and physically exhausted the past two weeks and have been neglecting my Nikon. Dirk and I have some fun adventuring coming up next weekend so there will be plenty of pictures to come. I think we're FINALLY going to make our way to the Georgia Aquarium in Atlanta to look at fishes. We've only been planning on it for three years now. Ha!

This weekend it's going to be freezing cold and I think we'll be deep cleaning and organizing and purging the crap that collects in our home. And possibly going to see a movie and possibly eating somewhere new and fun and exciting.

I have all sorts of resolutions for this year that I can't wait to keep!

xoxo
Gossip Girl
(tee hee)